Mental health treatment like a 'kick in the head'

There's an old saying I've heard: "mental health treatment's like a kick in the head". One mental health nurse took the saying literally. Jongo Vandi, who worked at Broadmoor Hospital, actually kicked a patient in the head.

Let's assume the patient was being 'difficult' at the time. It is Broadmoor after all. So, you'd expect the quality of the staff to be such that they go unphased under provocation, to be of the calibre that they know how to diffuse a volatile situation, that they know through their extensive training how to 'talk someone down', and so on and so on. But no, Mr Vandi kicked the patient in the head.

Alot of the patients in Broadmoor are violent. Sounds like Mr Vandi's just as bad.

Scraping the barrel when it comes to personnel

Another mental health nurse is behind bars after it was found he'd accessed child pornography sites on a computer he'd been using at the Charlton Centre, a residential home for the elderly in Batley, West Yorkshire.

The Yorkshire Post headline was "Mental health nurse had 40,000 indecent images of children". The story goes on to reveal the mental health nurse, Ivor Foster, had checked himself in to a psychiatric hospital called Fieldhead Hospital prior to the stuff being found on the computer he'd been using at the care home. He'd gone to Fieldhead because he was depressed. That means a depressed nurse was looking after people in a residential home, people who suffer from Alzheimer's diseases or dementia.

I regularly read all this stuff about psychiatric patients and their vulnerabilities, and then I read about the quality of the people looking after them. If this is the quality of personnel looking after people with mental illness, and Mr Foster isn't the only blot on the mental health nurse landscape, there must be a barrel that doesn't have a bottom after being scraped long and hard.

Foster was jailed for 14 months after he admitted 21 offences of possessing or making indecent images.

Brilliant name for a shrink...

Professor David Nutt is listed with the General Medical Council as a specialist in General Psychiatry. I must admit I had to check the story first. I thought it might be one of those spoof sites to begin with. A psychiatrist called Professor Nutt? Surely not. Actually, yes, it's legit. Brilliant name for a shrink!

After searching back a little way, Professor Nutt has been in the news on a number of occasions, for playing down the use of illegal street drugs. On the BBC News web site, it was reported that "Prof Nutt says cannabis is less harmful than alcohol or nicotine..." This is the same Prof who, in February this year, said taking ecstasy was no more dangerous than 'riding a horse.'

Problem is his statements are more likely to be those of someone who consumes illegal drugs, not someone who's attempting to halt the problem. Why employ an expensive Prof to advise on this sort of thing when it would've been cheaper to get the same advice from someone happily consuming the drugs? If the problem is as big as the Government says it is, then there's plenty of fokes out there who would've given the same advice for considerably less than Prof Nutt.

The story hasn't finished either. According to the Telegraph, other members of the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs are planning to resign. Don't know about you, but that hints at the idea they approve of his statements, that they downplay the dangers of illegal drugs. Wonder what sort of parties the advisers go to at the weekend? The Telegraph headline says "Drug policy in chaos after adviser is sacked." Errr, don't think so. I think drug policy was in chaos a long time before now. How else would there be such a problem with illegal drugs?

He can't be a mental health nurse because he's in jail

Well, well, another psychiatric nurse who stole money from a patient.

Only last month, Elizabeth Fayers was caught going down the local casino for a few spins of the reels with a patient's cash.

Now Adrian Mauger, who's been languishing in prison for the past few months for stealing £7,000 from a patient, has been dumped out of the nursing profession after it was deemed his actions "impaired his fitness to practice."

The politically correct language makes me cringe. Instead of saying "impaired his fitness to practice", it should say, "Mr Mauger has been convicted of a criminal offence and can't be a nurse any more because he's banged up in jail."

It takes two to tango

A psychiatrist who was secretly having an affair with a female doctor, got his comeuppance when the lady doctor called time on him when she found out the shrink's wife was pregnant.

The Daily Record reported on the psychiatrist Dr Jonathan Steele who sent text messages to the lady doctor after she dumped him. The lady doctor then reported the shrink when the messages got out of hand.

That's when Dr Steele had to come clean and tell his wife what he'd been up to. Now he's out of work. Would the lady doctor have dumped him if his wife had not fallen pregnant? Was the lady doctor on a guilt trip, or did she think her bit on the side had too much baggage?

After all the publicity on Dr Steele, I'm interested to know what happened to the lady doctor. Promiscuous and an adulteress. Not really the sort of clean-living, honest, trustworthy type suitable for filling the role of a doctor. What do you think?

'Ere mate, what's it worth to take these 'ere drugs?

Paying patients to take drugs. This is the latest psychiatric methodology to gain more compliance from those who've been prescribed antipsychotic drugs. What about those who are compliant? Do they get the cash too? If they don't, they could always become 'difficult' and get a bit more taxpayers cash.

This is coercion, isn't it? Bribing a person to consume expensive drugs. What if the bribes don't work? What then? I've compiled a list of possibilities that might encourage compliance:

1) Meals out at top restaurants
2) Visits to lap dance parlours
3) Weekends away at top hotels
4) All expenses paid flights abroad

Would you look at that. That's a list of what the shrinks get from Big Pharma. I know, perhaps the 'patients' could join the shrinks on their freebie excursions, sort of like one big happy family, and then the shrinks could definitely check whether they're complying!

There now, working together.

Nursing doesn't include inappropriate sexual relationships

Another mental health nurse whose dirty laundry should be aired in public is Drew Shaw-Dickenson. Once again, the nurse in question has been up to no good with a mental patient. The amorous nurse got pulled up in front of his bosses at the Nursing and Midwifery Council. Here's his rap sheet taken from http://www.nmc-uk.org/:

That you, whilst employed by Portsmouth City NHS Teaching Primary Care Trust in the capacity of Staff Nurse on the Fairoak Unit at St. James’ Hospital in Portsmouth, Hampshire,
1 on various dates in the approximate period of October 2005 to December 2005, conducted an inappropriate sexual relationship with a patient, namely Patient A, whilst she was an inpatient on Fairoak Unit,
2 on various dates in the approximate period of December 2005 to 1 January 2006, conducted an inappropriate sexual relationship with Patient A after she had been discharged from Fairoak Unit but whilst she remained a patient of the Trust,
3 on various dates in the period of 4 November 2005 to 13 January 2006, sent inappropriate text messages to Patient A, including but not limited to,
i) on 15.16 hours on 5 November 2005, a text message that read, ‘I
feel so passionate about you Patient A. I want you for keeps. X’,
ii) at 23.01 hours on 5 November 2005, a text message that read,
‘GOD! you are making me feel soo in love. :) cannot stop thinking about you. I really want to know you and trust you. we will be so wonderful for each other I can sense it. and it feels great. X’,
iii) at 21.57 hours on 7 November 2005, a text message that read,
‘how wonderful! your smell is all around my flat and on the pillows. wish you were here with me flat and on the pillows. wish you were here with me now. X’,
iv) at 12.17 hours on 15 November 2005, a text message that read,
‘can’t sleep. I am thinking about you continually. resorted to playing now and smelling you on the pillow. X’,
v) at 22.02 hours on 19 November 2005, a text message that read, ‘I
love you Patient A you are for me. Always and forever. X’,
And that, in the light of the above, your fitness to practise is impaired by reason of
your misconduct.

He's now out of work too.

A rap sheet as long as your arm

Not all of the mental health nurses who get up to no good find their stories in the newspapers. But all of the sordid details are normally posted on the Nursing and Midwifery Council web site, http://www.nmc-uk.org/ under FTP hearings and decisions.

I heard about and was directed to the case of registered mental health nurse Steven Laing. Bearing in mind Mr Laing was dealing with vulnerable patients, here's part of his rap sheet from the NMC:

Charges read as follows:
That you, between September 2007 and April 2008 inclusive, whilst employed as a staff nurse within the Pitkerro Care Centre;
1. On one or more unknown dates used inappropriate moving and handling techniques to move:
(a) Resident A;
(b) Resident B.
2. In or around February 2008, attended to Resident C inappropriately after she had fallen, in that you:
(a) Kneeled beside her and placed your chest close to/or on to Resident C’s chest;
(b) Your actions described in 2.(a) were of a sexual nature;
(c) Said words to the effect of, "Can I get a cuddle?";
(d) Your actions described in 2.(c) were of a sexual nature;
(e) Said words to the effect of "Can I get my kiss?";
(f) Your actions described in 2.(e) were of a sexual nature;
(g) Did not check Resident C for injuries until a few minutes had passed.
3. On one or more unknown dates spoke inappropriately about sex to:
(a) Care assistant A;
(b) Care assistant B;
4. On one or more unknown dates spoke inappropriately about sex as described in 3. above, in front of or within earshot of one or more residents within the Care Centre.
5. Inappropriately touched Care Assistant A;
(a) On one or more unknown dates, in that you touched her bottom;
(b) Your actions described in 5.(a) were of a sexual nature;
(c) In or around March 2008, in that you placed your hand down the back of her tunic;
(d) Your actions described in 5.(c) were of a sexual nature.
6. Inappropriately touched Care Assistant B;
(a) In or around September 2007, in that you pulled a badge on Care Assistant B’s tunic collar and attempted to look down her tunic at her breasts;
(b) Your actions described in 6.(a) were of a sexual nature;
(c) On an unknown date, in that you touched care assistant B’s bottom;
(d) Your actions described in 6.(c) were of a sexual nature;
7. On 3rd April 2008 acted inappropriately whilst in the bedroom of Resident B, in that you;
(a) Lifted Resident B using an inappropriate moving and handling technique, in that you bear-hugged her and transferred her from a chair to her bed by lifting her;
(b) Held your crotch;
(c) Your actions described in 7.(b) were of a sexual nature;
(d) Stated that you wore shorts instead of pants so that you could be free, or words to that effect;
(e) Your actions described in 7.(d) were of a sexual nature;
(f) Sniffed the knickers of Resident B;
(g) Your actions described in 7.(f) were of a sexual nature;
(h) Stated that you did not care if Resident B’s knickers were clean or dirty because you would still sniff them, or words to that effect;
(i) Your actions described in 7.(h) were of a sexual nature;
(j) Placed Resident B’s knickers on your head;
(k) Your actions described in 7.(j) were of a sexual nature;
(l) Placed your hand on Care Assistant B’s head and stated that she was the right height;
(m) Your actions described in 7.(l) were of a sexual nature;
(n) Pulled Care Assistant B’s head towards your crotch;
(o) Your actions described in 7.(n) were of a sexual nature;
(p) Thrust your crotch towards Care Assistant B’s face;
(q) Your actions described in 7.(p) were of a sexual nature.

Now that's one big sordid and disgraceful rap sheet. He is now by the way, out of work. His bosses figured he wasn't fit to practise. I second that.

A different kind of art therapy

An art therapist who was up to no good with a patient at a psychiatric hospital, has been suspended for 18 months after a meeting of the Health Professions Council. Trinity Marriott, who also went under the name of Trinity Gidney, had a sexual relationship with a patient while working at a hospital in Kewstoke, Avon. The hospital is described as low secure, as well as providing PICU (psychiatric intensive care unit) services.

On its website, the hospital states, "We are proud of the service we provide and invite you to have a look at our most recent inspection from the Healthcare Commission which can now be found on the Care Quality Commission website." I suspect Ms Marriott/Gidney's 'service' isn't listed in the inspection, that it isn't part of the 'intensive care' services, and that it's not a 'service' the hospital is 'proud of'.

The Health Profession Council may have done her a favour. Ms Marriott/Gidney now has the opportunity to concentrate more on her art.

Nurse 'stole from patients to fund casino trip'

A mental health nurse has been up before her bosses after it was alleged she went out on the razz using money that belonged to patients. The Northampton Chronicle and Echo reported on the hearing that took place in London where it was heard that Elizabeth Fayers apparently went out gambling, using money that belonged to patients from Skiddaw Walk Unit, an Adult Mental Health Residential Rehabilitation Unit in Northampton.

If this is true, it's hard to understand what was going through the nurse's mind. I guess if you're up the creek without a paddle, it doesn't matter who you use and abuse. If it's true, I don't think Ms Fayers will be looking after any more patients in the near future.

All paid for by me and you

A story in the London Informer revealed how a care worker in the mental health system was committing sexual offences against a person supposedly being cared for at the Hammersmith and Fulham Mental Health Unit, based in the Charing Cross Hospital in London.

Matthew Jones, 29, admitted to a two-year campaign of sexual assault on a female patient. It's as if those working in the mental health system think they can get away with various shenanigans by saying the victim isn't well, delusional, making up stories, and needs more drugs to shut them up, or should that be "...needs more drugs to help them through their very difficult illness?"

The organisation responsible for the Unit is the West London Mental Health Trust, the same Trust that looks after and governs Broadmoor Hospital. I guess you could say it hasn't been a good time for the Trust recently. There's been the news about Peter Bryan the cannibal and the failings of the Trust, then there was a purported story about a nurse getting up to no good with a patient, and now this.

All paid for by me and you.

This doesn't sound like intensive care to me

Those who are mentally unstable and who might feel like they want to end it all, need a bit of TLC and some good old common sense from friends and associates to come through what is probably a quagmire of emotions.

What they don't need are tools with which they can fulfil their deathwish. So it was a bit surprising to read on psychminded.co.uk about a nurse who handed a holdall strap to a patient who was being held at a psychiatric intensive care unit in Dundee, Scotland.

The patient Michael Dodds took his own life using the strap. What was the point then in sectioning him in the first place? If psychiatric intensive care units are supposed to give psychiatric intensive care, then I believe there's something seriously wrong with either the description of the facility or the personnel who run it.

Children at risk before they're born

Shrinks from Yale University have issued new professional guidelines on antidepressants and pregnancy. On the uk.reuters.com website, it was stated as follows, "There are both pros and cons to using antidepressants during pregnancy, the report states. The drugs can effectively treat mom's depression, which has been linked to problems in the newborn. However, there is also evidence tying them to birth defects and reduced birth weight."

That's such a difficult statement to reconcile. Is it right to put an unborn child's health at risk by using antidepressants? Moms having a tough time of it have been taking antidepressants during pregnancy. Moms don't have it easy, but to take a drug that can cause birth defects just aint right.

Psychiatric nurse 'filmed up women's skirts'

The Western Morning News in the west country, has reported on a psychiatric nurse who went around town filming up women's skirts.

It seems there are loads of these types of stories that come out of the psychiatric swing doors, or should that be locked doors? Sure, my admiration for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest has a bearing on my view, and reflects in what I write about psychiatric nurses. Funny thing is, while Cuckoo's Nest was a movie based on Ken Kesey's brilliant book, it turns out there really are psychiatric nurses like Nurse Ratched and nurses who get into all sorts of dubious stuff, like looking up women's skirts, sexually assaulting patients, rape, and flashing.

Confession time. I knew someone who had an experience in a mental hospital and I didn't believe them. They were having problems, had gone in there for help and ended up getting treated in a way that doesn't belong anywhere near a hospital. I thought the 'experience' I was told about was a bit of made-up stuff that was part of the 'illness'. Turned out the experience was real.

It's a fine line that's walked between believing something someone says and chucking it out just because the person's a bit 'out-to-lunch.'

Please don't dismiss what a patient says. Hence the blog.

If your nose doesn't fit, does it mean you're stupid or nuts?

Facial symmetry is the latest hot air to come out of psychologist's mouths. The BBC Online web site states, "Men with symmetrical faces are less likely to lose their memory and intelligence in later life, according to researchers." It begs the question: how d'you know that then? These psychologists who come up with this stuff must take us for mugs, pun very much intended.

This scientific mapping of the face looks something like the dot-to-dot pictures we used to get in comics as a kid. Frankly, I think this story belongs in a comic too.

How about measuring testicular symmetry in elderly gentlemen to determine the mental welfare of the individual? If testicular symmetry were found to be consistent and that said anatomical structures were indeed in the same horizontal plane, where the perpendicular aspect or each structure was equidistant from the centre of the phallus, what could we determine?

For fear of offending anyone, I will, in answering this highly important question, execute a long standing literary symbol to hide any rudeness or possible embarrassment. So, regarding mental welfare and testicular symmetry, I think it would be fair tosay we're dealing with aload of old b*****ks. Rather like the idea of facial symmetry linked to mental welfare.

Are psychiatrists short of patients?

Kids in the United States, some as young as three, have depression. Craegmoor Healthcare had the story which went like this, "According to lead author Dr Joan Luby, a psychiatrist at Washington University in St Louis, people have not really paid much attention to depressive disorders in children under the age of six because it was thought they were too emotionally immature to experience it."

I'd like to know what the shrinks use to work out a three-year-old is depressed. I'd also like to ask Dr Luby what she has planned for the toddlers. Antidepressants? The ones that create violence and suicide? Adults have done it in the workplace, teenagers have done it in the schoolyard. How about a three-year-old brandishing a gun in kindergarten? Possible?

I've got a really nice brain

Those boffins who do the clandestine laboratory experimentation, you know, the stuff you see in old Hammer films, have come up with a claim that brain scans can show up whether you've got a psychopath brain or an ordinary brain. At least that's what the boffins are saying in the Times. Psychopath brain, ordinary brain: how d'you know that then?

Dr Craig, one of the boffins, said "...the results were interesting because of the function of the two brain regions connected by the UF (uncinate fasciculus). The amygdala is involved in emotional responses such as fear, disgust and pleasure, while the OFC (orbitofrontal cortex) is involved in higher decision-making." That's some clever-sounding stuff doc with some pretty fancy words. But down to the business question again: how d'you know that then?

And Professor Murphy, another boffin, said "...the findings offered the most compelling evidence yet that altered brain anatomy might be involved in psychopathy." One more time, how d'you know that then?

Psychopathy is reported as being "...a disorder in which people struggle to control their impulses, and behave manipulatively, aggressively, dishonestly or exploitatively towards others. They rarely show remorse for their actions." What about looking in a mirror boffs?

D'you remember Road Runner? Doc, I think it's Wylie Coyote...

The Independent carried a story about the secrets of how to interpret the Rorschach test. The secrets were revealed after the ink spillages or whatever they're called and their interpretations, were posted on Wikipedia. According to Herman Rorschach, the intepretation of the splodges can tell what the person is thinking. Paddy Mac would like to ask: "How d'you know that then?"

It's yet another brilliant example of the make-it-up-as-you-go-along brigade claiming this and that when they have absolutely no idea. I guess I leave myself open on this one as any psychiatrist could come along and tell me I'm wrong, or that I'm not an expert in the field. Fine by me. What I could do is make up an equally stupid test and like Dr Rorschach, put it out there and tell others what they should think about this or that.

Then the shrinks out there could come and ask me, "How d'you know that then?" My answer: I made it up in my spare time so I could make a bit of beer money.

Shenanigans and mental health... Again

A 'psychiatric' worker was exposed in The Weston and Somerset Mercury for "...'sex' shame with patient." Female 50-year-old psychiatric worker had sex with 28-year-old patient.

There's an awful lot of this stuff going on.

Another mental health nurse out of a job

The latest mental health nurse to lose his job is James Duggan. He was caught out after sexually assaulting a teenager at a Cambridge psychiatric hospital. He was jailed for 18 months last June, and now he's lost his license to practise.

I've blogged about quite a few of these now, but I continue to be amazed at how many male and female mental health nurses are up to no good with male and female patients.

I never get tired of this story... Rosenhan and friends

Thank you David Rosenhan and friends for executing what can only be described as pure genius. Claudia Hammond in a series at BBC Radio 4 called Mind Changers has covered the story, "...gaining access to his [Rosenhan's] unpublished personal papers to discover how it changed our understanding of the humna mind, and its impact 40 years on."

This story was also covered on BBC 2 a while ago. David Rosenhan himself was interviewed to give his input on 'The Thud Experiment' in a series called The Trap.

Sure, Rosenhan and his friends got the rough end of the stick, there's no doubt about that. But if he and his friends hadn't done it, we wouldn't have the opportunity to categorically state, with certainty, that psychiatry really is fake, stupid and a fraud.

And thank you Miss Hammond for giving this story even more air time which it justly deserves.

What? Psychiatrists who don't agree?

Dr Joseph's very busy, which must mean he's raking in the cash by giving his opinions in legal arenas around the country. Kerching!

Dr Joseph's been in Swansea this week giving his opinion on Llanelli man Wayne Bowen who killed his 15-year-old stepson to punish his wife when he feared she was going to leave him.

Dr Joseph, who interviewed Bowen in custody to prepare a report for the court, said the defendant's personality was "characterised by extreme jealousy and possessiveness". Does it really need a highly paid psychiatrist to say that?

Dr Joseph also said, "People can do some very evil and wicked things without being mad." He said this to reject claims made by psychiatrists, relied on by the defence, who were claiming Bowen was "in a delusional state and probably psychotic".

What d'you know? Psychiatrists who can't agree on a person's mental state. I think we can safely say it's all about the highest bidder. Psychiatrists will say anything the paymaster requires. After all, it's only an opinion.

You're so clever doctor

Whenever there's a murder these days, the shrinks seem to get in on the action to give their opinion on what they think happened, and what they think the person was thinking when he or she was thinking about killing another person. Beats me why you need a psychiatrist for this.

The Independent covered the story of William Cranston, who said he "lost his rag" when he discovered his partner and best friend making love. Cranston killed Kay Morton, 39, with a single stab wound to the heart and knifed Paul Wilkins, 55, several times, severing one of his arteries.

The shrink involved was Dr Philip Joseph (left), who examined Cranston. Dr Joseph said Cranston had "...suffered "the ultimate betrayal" by Ms Morton, and that catching the pair having sex on the sofa where his son died was "the last straw". A psychiatric examination revealed he suffered a "catastrophic loss of self-control".

Now for Paddy Mac's evaluation of Dr Joseph's evaluation. Suffered the "ultimate betrayal." Most of us mortals could have told the court that and I for one wouldn't mind the cash that was handed over for that opinion.

The best bit though is the "psychiatric examination" to find out Cranston had a "catastrophic loss of self-control." What sort of psychiatric examination was that doc? Perhaps the very 'scientific' psychiatric examination went something like this:

Dr Joseph: "Tell me what happened Mr Cranston."

Mr Cranston: "I saw them having sex and I got mad."

Dr Joesph: "How did you feel?"

Mr Cranston: "I felt very angry."

Dr Joseph: "What happened then?"

Mr Cranston: "I felt myself losing control very quickly because I was so angry."

Dr Joseph: "What happened then?"

Mr Cranston: "I lost my self-control."

Dr Joseph: "What happened then?"

Mr Cranston: "It was a catastrophe. I killed them both when I lost control."

And this is how you can reach the very very very scientific psychiatric evaluation that Mr Cranston had a "catastrophic loss of self-control." Rocket science takes a back seat in comparison to this stuff.

Lessons to be learnt

Broadmoor has been getting a bashing lately in the media. On Monday, I wrote about a report that would be coming out concerning deaths in Broadmoor. I anticipated the hospital authorities would say that they could "learn valuable lessons" from the report.

Well, on the BBC News web site this afternoon, Peter Cubbon of the West London Mental Health NHS Trust, the one which governs Broadmoor, said, "There are lessons to be learnt from the investigation."

On Monday, I also said the Trust would "...be resolute in "implementing the recommendations". " Today Peter Cubbon said, "The trust has already made progress in implementing a number of the recommendations..."

So I'm not just a pretty face then... I should've applied for the job. I obviously say all the right things.

Bureaucratic deaths at Broadmoor

Saw this report in the Financial Times on Broadmoor Hospital following the release of a report from the Care Quality Commission.

There was a particular paragraph that stopped me in my tracks. "Eight suicides occurred at Broadmoor from 2001 to 2008, five by hanging. But because the buildings are grade II-listed, the trust has been "unable to eradicate obvious ligature points such as bars on windows"."

Sorry Mrs A, Mrs B, Mr C, Mrs D, etc, but your loved ones died because the local planners said Broadmoor couldn't change the windows. I wonder if that's really the case, or whether the powers that be in Broadmoor didn't actually make the effort to make the change?

The listed building status of Broadmoor Hospital would appear to be more important than human life.

Psycho-ramblers go rambling

A journalist in the Boston Globe, has written what can only be described as poetry to those who recognise the idiocy of psychiatry. 'So who's crazy now?' considers all of the psycho-ramblers [psychiatrists] and their psycho-ramblings ['disorders'] who periodically come together to form the comic known as the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

And I thought I was needed to trivialise psychiatry. In an editorial published in Psychiatric Times, Dr. Allen Frances, the editor of DSM-IV, called DSM-V "a wholesale imperial medicalization of normality that will trivialize mental disorder and lead to a deluge of unneeded medication treatment - a bonanza for the pharmaceutical industry but at a huge cost to the new false positive 'patients' caught in the excessively wide DSM-V net." Exactly doc.

And psychiatrist, Dr Daniel Carlat, has described the rambling process on his blog, the Carlat Psychiatry Blog, as a 'Bar Room Brawl'. He says, "There can be no dramatic improvements in psychiatric diagnosis until we make a fundamental leap in our understanding of what causes mental disorders. The incredible recent advances in neuroscience, molecular biology, and brain imaging that have taught us so much about normal brain functioning are still not relevant to the clinical practicalities of everyday psychiatric diagnosis. The clearest evidence supporting this disappointing fact is that not even one biological test is ready for inclusion in the criteria sets for DSM-5."

What? No biological test ready? Surely not.

My tongue, by the way, is once again firmly planted in my cheek.

Who wants the job of top dog at Broadmoor?

If people detained in Broadmoor Hospital die at the hands of another person who's also detained in the hospital, it's a situation where the only answer is to put each of the people into solitary. That'd solve it. How else d'you prevent a detainee from killing another detainee especially when those in question have demonstrated their willingness to take another's life?

I'm writing this after reading the report in the Times about the Chief Executive of Broadmoor Hospital, Mr Simon Crawford, who has jumped ship prior to a report expected to criticise the hospital management following "serious untoward incidents" where detainees have been murdered or have committed suicide. Mr Crawford has reportedly taken up a new position in NHS London.

It said of Mr Crawford’s move: “Discussions have taken place between Simon Crawford and the trust and they both agreed that the time was right for Simon to move on ...” The right time to moveon? I don't think so. How about sticking around and facing up to the failures like a good manager? I guess that's not what managers do these days. Now they leave with their big pensions.

When the report is finally made public, I anticipate the result will be: the hospital can "learn valuable lessons" from the report, and it will be resolute in "implementing the recommendations" and it will say sorry to the family of the deceased. Then it will attempt to carry on in the hope it can attract more employees who haven't read the papers, who haven't listened to the radio or haven't watched the telly. How about doing something different as what's been going on there obviously hasn't worked.

Murder isn't murder according to one psychiatrist

When psychiatrists tamper with stuff they think they know about, we're in trouble. Most people go along with the docs when they start talking shop about people's state of mind, because most people don't stand back and really listen to what they're saying.

The latest tampering is to do with the Stockwell Strangler Kenneth Erskine, who's had his convictions for murder reduced to manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility, because a psychiatrist said he was suffering from an 'abnormality' of the mind at the time of the killings.

The tampering psychiatrist is Dr Andrew Horne from notorious Broadmoor. So doc, how d'you know that then? How d'you know Erskine had an 'abnormality' of the mind? Rhetorical question because the truth of the matter is you don't know. You just made it up.

Banned for life from working as a nurse

Psychiatric nurse Joanne Holmes has been struck off of the nursing register by the Nursing and Midwifery Council and banned for life from working as a nurse after shenanigans with a man who was a prisoner under her care.

The Emperor's wardrobe is overflowing with new suits

I didn't want to let the internet addiction story just sail on by without taking a look at how it's determined whether me and you have an 'addiction'. I typed in 'internet addiction' and got a page that gave a test, a bit of self-diagnosis by the looks of it. I didn't want to go there; I might get a shock, at least that's what's supposed to happen.

Instead I went to find who the top bod is who's pushing this stuff. I found a Dr Kimberly Young, "...an internationally known expert on Internet addiction and online behaviour." By the way, no idea what makes her an 'expert' on this. But I noticed she wrote a paper, Drug Treatment for Internet Addiction. So this means you can take drugs to overcome the desire to log on, or to visit a web site or any other internet activity. I really don't buy this rubbish.

The usual stuff then. Behaviour that seems to be a bit odd, call it something, and drug it. Oh, and make a bucket load of cash in the process by going around talking about it.

I think the Emperor's wardrobe is overflowing with new suits.

Alternatives to shock treatment

Instead of the Cuckoo's Nest method of frying someone's brain for 'internet addiction', I've put together a few alternatives that may be of assistance to those in need of something less stimulating to resolve the problem of being on the Internet for a bit too long:

1) Go to the electrical outlet socket and pull the plug out
2) Turn the computer off and give the computer to another person
3) Ask the telecommunications provider to cut the phone line
4) Take the wifi card out of your computer and throw it away
5) For more up-to-date computers, disable the in-built wifi capability
6) Do something else in your spare time
7) Don't talk to shrinks

There now. These alternatives will work by the way.

I've been 'jolted' into literary action

I've been 'jolted' into literary action again by a story that 'shocked' me.

Here we are, blogging, tweeting, googling, facebooking, beboing, whatevering on our computers, and the shrinks come along and spoil all the fun. I wrote about 'internet addiction' on this blog in March last year when Dr Jerald Block, a shrink based in Portland, Oregon said we should recognise that we're clinically disordered if we're involved in "Excessive gaming, viewing online pornography, emailing and text messaging..." Wonder if the doc's trying to tell us something about himself?

Anyway, the Guardian has now reported shock treatment for 'internet addiction' has been banned in China. Now, just a minute, who the hell allowed shock treatment for this load of mumbo-jumbo in the first place? Someone at the ministry of health in China obviously fell for doc Block's waffle.

The idea of shock treatment is bad enough, but when it's administered, at cost, for a load of shrinking hot air, bloggers, tweeters, googlers, facebookers, beboers and whatevers should blog, tweet, and whatever and denounce the killjoys who it seems are making a bunch of cash frying people's brains.

I thought rape and kidnapping were criminal offences

The last time I checked, kidnapping and rape were designated as criminal acts. You'd go to prision for kidnap or rape. Not a psychiatric institution.

But Josef Fritzl, who pleaded guilty to kidnap and rape is going to a psychiatric institution. Why not prison? I spose there will be the psychiatric mumbo jumbo about his mental state, that he is mentally unstable, and all that stuff. But he's a criminal and should be in prison.

Or is it that the psychiatric institution can make a few bucks out of him?

How d'you know that then?

Every now and then, a real beauty comes along that begs to be asked the question: how d'you know that then? High speed brains are in the genes was the story covered in the New Scientist. The story also states, alongside the waffle, that attention deficit disorder is associated with 'degraded myelin.' How d'you know that then?

There's also a pretty picture that goes with the story, a picture that has some cute colours on it, and some numbers on it as well that are supposed to denote what bit of the brain does what. Looks like a page out of a kid's colouring book to me. But hey, who am I to pass comment when we've got 'experts' to tell us.

Please, please, please be mentally ill

Saw this story on http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/ about the private hospital chain, the Priory Group. It was headlined Priory Warns Of 'Recession-Depression' Escalation. Using a nice bit of alliteration, the Group have warned it's going to get really gloomy in these credit crunch times.

I think the story should be reworded: Priory Group desperately hopes people will get mentally ill so the hospitals can fill their beds, and bleed the health policies dry. So despite the doom and gloom, there are innovative ways to beat the credit crunch.

Be depressed today, help the Priory Group fill a bed, and help the Group come through the credit crunch. They're counting on you, and you, and you, and you, and you...

Psychiatric nurse jailed for rape

The Argus covered the story of psychiatric nurse Michael Crossland who was jailed for 15 years after raping two patients.

Good job there's now a statute that covers this kind of degraded and sick behaviour. Many in a similar position to Crossland have got away with it in the past because the patient 'agreed'.

Mr Crossland's now got 15 years to contemplate where it all went wrong.

Exposed for exposing himself

Psychiatric nurse Spencer Lowe has been exposed for exposing himself.

The Sun and the Birmingham Mail exposed him after his bosses at the Nursing and Midwifery Council learned of his pervie activities. He was exposed for repeatedly flashing, touching himself in front of other staff, asking them to measure his manhood and for telling a fellow worker she "looked good enough to eat", adding he often imagined her in "bright red lace underwear".

Not much else you can say really, except 'you dirty old man'.

Psychiatry: posh words about the bleedin' obvious

Joseph Clark stabbed disabled Martin Cox 13 times in the chest before leaving his body in a pool of blood in the hallway of a Torquay flat. Clark was sentenced to a minimum of 15 years in prison for murder.

What got me thinking was the following paragraph: "two psychiatric reports found Clark had an anti-social personality disorder and exhibited a 'callous unconcern' for the feelings of others and a low provocation threshold." Wonder how much that 'shrink-think' cost?

I reckon anyone could come to the conclusion Clark had a 'callous unconcern' for the feelings of others, and that he loses his rag easily. As for the anti-social personality disorder, the personality disorder bit is what the shrinks call it so that's pretty dubious. As for the anti-social bit, it's not rocket science working that one out. So why the shrink reports?

Serial Wafflers

More rumblings have surfaced about Peter Sutcliffe and reports that he could be 'moving house' which were then scuppered by more reports that he wasn't 'moving'. The BBC has now posted a story: Can serial killers be rehabilitated?

It's an example of how mental health professionals can't agree on shrink-think. There are two of them quoted who can't agree on whether Sutcliffe can be rehabilitated.

Looks like a space-filler story as it doesn't mean anything. I don't expect either of the 'experts' have met Sutcliffe so I reckon they haven't got a clue what they're talking about. Aload of hot air that gets bandied around as authoritative.

I think it's a case of serial wafflers...

Errr... no he's not

Correction. Just got news Sutcliffe isn't coming out. Does that mean then there was some inaccurate newspaper reporting? No, surely not...

Sutcliffe's coming out...

...of Broadmoor Hospital, according to The Sun. It was stated he was moved to the high security hospital from the prison service when he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

So, does that mean Sutcliffe doesn't have schizophrenia any more? If that was the excuse for sending him there in the first place, it would be fair to say that curing it would be his route out of the place, back to prison. If he hasn't been cured of schizophrenia, why the change of mind?

My sledgehammer really turns me on doc...

Here we go. Back to some good old psycho-waffle. Psychologist Susan Fiske thinks men are more likely to think of women as objects if they've looked at sexy pictures of females beforehand.

'Researchers' "...used brain scans to show that when straight men looked at pictures of women in bikinis, areas of the brain that normally light up in anticipation of using tools, like spanners and screwdrivers, were activated." How d'you know that then? How the hell did you come to that conclusion?

Perhaps Paddy Mac can interpret the scan: the reddish bit was brighter than the bluey bit, but a bit duller than the green bit, but the yellowy bit was opaque so, in alignment with the purply area just in the corner, there were adequate suggestions that perhaps the neurotransmitters were possibly going to turn a whitish colour, which in conclusion means men like women.

So then, do we really need this expensive psycho-waffle? By the way, isn't this a bit sexist? What happened to the pretty colours when women looked at pictures of men?

Turver 'phoned a friend' and won

Just had to revisit this story. The nurse who was playing the 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' computer game while a patient hung himself, has been allowed to carry on practising.

John Turver was given a caution by the Nursing and Midwifery Council and told he can continue nursing. Makes me wonder what a nurse is supposed to do then. If Turver can carry on nursing after a patient under his care dies, while he was doing something other than what he's paid to do, what does that say about the bosses who regulate nurses? As far as I know, playing computer games aren't on the list of skills required for working in a psychiatric ward.

But amidst all the turmoil, Turver (above) chose to 'phone a friend'. Guess it was the right decision. He's a winner as far as still being able to work is concerned.

Seeing as how computer games now appear to be acceptable, how about pushing the boundaries and going down the pub while on duty, meet up with the shrink Nick Cooling and have a couple of sherberts? I'm sure the boss won't mind and if a patient dies by hanging, you can always quote this case.

After all's been said and done, this kind of decision makes the mental health system a joke.

'Mental health patients could be at risk...' - Tell me something I don't know

A retired shrink from the States has said mental health patients could be at risk because nurses are not trained properly. The Jersey Evening Post reported that Dr Gil Blackwood believes the only way to improve Jersey’s mental health services is to change its management.

In the ultimate Paddy Mac wisdom, perhaps I can add to that: change the psychiatrists to real doctors, and change the treatments so that they aid recovery not kill the patient. There now, job done.

According to experts, Prozac sucks

According to experts, Prozac's the only antidepressant recommended for use in kids under 18 years old. According to various media reports, Edward Belben was under 18 years old when he started taking Prozac. According to common sense, there's a problem.

Big Pharma aint going to like it, but it's time to draw the curtain on all antidepressants for kids, including Prozac. It really doesn't take a rocket scientist or, for that matter, an Eli Lilly scientist, to work that out.

You're joking, aren't you?

Two nurses working on a psychiatric ward, are up before the Nursing and Midwifery Council after a patient on the ward hanged himself. The Wiltshire Times reported that one of the nurses was playing computer games at the time, while the other nurse was having her hair styled by a colleague in the patients' smoking lounge.

On the web site http://www.courtnews.co.uk/, it was further reported the computer game the male nurse was playing at the time was 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'.

What the hell was going through the minds of these nurses? Was it:

A) No one's going to find out we were mucking around
B) If anything bad happens, we'll look busy and pretend to be on duty

C) Never been caught before

D) Who cares

Phone a friend is still an option. Let's hope the friend is a lawyer...

P.S. None of the above answers are correct, as there are no excuses for such a tragedy. Shame on you nurses.

Jackanory, Jackanory...

The fact a teenager didn't take his "kiddie coke" has been blamed for an arson attack. The North Devon Journal reported on Adam Parker, who admitted to two charges of arson at Barnstaple Magistrates' Court. His solicitor told the court Parker committed the crimes because he wasn't taking his "kiddie coke" at the time. Begs the question: "How d'you know that then?"

Don't you think this might be an attempt to get the teenager off the hook with aload of made-up psycho-waffle? I wonder who the psychiatrist was who told the solicitor what to say? Jackanory, jackanory...

Shrinking down the pub

Psychiatrist Nicholas Cooling was up before his bosses at the General Medical Council recently for over-prescribing an antipsychotic drug, and for consulting with his patient down the pub. The doc was handed down a six-month suspension.

When it comes to psychiatry, you could probably do the business anywhere: a pub, park bench, train station, airplane, car, sauna, so on and so on. It doesn't really matter where the psychiatric 'consultation' takes place as you sure don't need any tools of the trade other than the tongue to give an opinion.