The docs in white coats like categorising what we do, the way we behave, what we say, blah blah blah, and the lemmings among us say "Wow! Science!"
Are we 'addicted' to the internet? If so, stop reading this now! The point is, psychiatrists are highly paid men in white coats pointing out the bleedin' obvious. For example:
Person: "Doc, I have problems leaving the internet alone at night."
Doc: "When did this start?"
Person: "About six months ago when I got a computer."
Doc: "How do you feel at night when this happens?"
Person: "Knackered cos I don't go to bed."
Doc: "In my learned opinion, I think you have problems leaving the internet alone at night."
Here's a test I've formulated for all you psychiatrists out there. I'm not assuming you're going to read this blog, but there might come a day when you can laugh at yourselves. I hope I'm around to see it.
If you answer 'yes' to five or more of these questions below, you may have a psychiatric thingymabob, whatsit, some mindset that needs a name... All suggestions for a name by email to howdoyouknowthatthen@gmail.com
Here we go:
1) Do you feel preoccupied with other people's behaviour? (Think about your consulting room or your next appointment.)
2) Do you need increasing amounts of time to convince your patient of their illness to achieve personal satisfaction?
3) Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back or stop thinking about making up new disorders?
4) Do you feel restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop thinking of making up new disorders?
5) Do you ponder on other people's behaviour longer than originally intended?
6) Have you jeopardised or risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of thinking up new disorders no one else has thought of?
7) Have you lied to family members, a colleague or others to conceal the extent of your involvement with other people's behaviour?
8) Do you tell other people they're ill to escape from your own problems (eg, feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)?
If you answered yes to 5 or more of the questions, you may be suffering from a sense of humour.
Source: Centre for the Resolution of Addiction to Psychiatry (CRAP)
