The odds are stacked against child gambling

Interesting story this one. A shrink who goes by the name of Dr Henrietta Bowden-Jones thinks, in her ultimate wisdom, that not enough is being done to help kids who have a gambling problem. She says she wants a ban on all child gambling.

So that I don't have to keep writing Dr Bowden-Jones, I'm going to call her Henrietta. I'm sure she won't mind. Henrietta is the director of the NHS's first treatment clinic for people with gambling problems. That's right. A treatment clinic for people with gambling problems. I have to ask, "What the hell would you do in one of these places?" And do they ban fruit in the canteen?

Now, Henrietta thinks kids need one of their own special treatment clinics where they can go to... well... errr... uhh... what the hell would kids do in a clinic for child gamblers? Before anyone has a go, I'll preempt it. "You don't understand Mac, you're not the one with the problem." Yeah, OK, but seriously, what are you going to do with kids in a clinic who insist on putting money in a brightly coloured machine?

Would Henrietta give the kids a bag of cash and put them in a room full of fruities that have hardened chewing gum stuck in the coin slots? Or would she tell them 'to get over it'? Or does she talk to them nicely, say it's not their fault, and prescribe an anti-gambling drug? Or does Henrietta go for the jugular and restrain the kids on a gurney and exorcise the inner gambling demons with her quackery? Perhaps the gambling mice I wrote about last week could teach the kids a thing or two.

But now for the real irony. Henrietta and her gang haven't got a Scooby about the problem. It's a toss-up for anyone going to one of her clinics whether it does anything for them. Just like a whimsical hope of hitting the jackpot, there's no guarantee of getting sorted in a gambling clinic. It's a gamble whether you'll get over the gambling.

Last word. I didn't read anything about the parents. Nuff said.