The Emperor's wardrobe is overflowing with new suits

I didn't want to let the internet addiction story just sail on by without taking a look at how it's determined whether me and you have an 'addiction'. I typed in 'internet addiction' and got a page that gave a test, a bit of self-diagnosis by the looks of it. I didn't want to go there; I might get a shock, at least that's what's supposed to happen.

Instead I went to find who the top bod is who's pushing this stuff. I found a Dr Kimberly Young, "...an internationally known expert on Internet addiction and online behaviour." By the way, no idea what makes her an 'expert' on this. But I noticed she wrote a paper, Drug Treatment for Internet Addiction. So this means you can take drugs to overcome the desire to log on, or to visit a web site or any other internet activity. I really don't buy this rubbish.

The usual stuff then. Behaviour that seems to be a bit odd, call it something, and drug it. Oh, and make a bucket load of cash in the process by going around talking about it.

I think the Emperor's wardrobe is overflowing with new suits.

Alternatives to shock treatment

Instead of the Cuckoo's Nest method of frying someone's brain for 'internet addiction', I've put together a few alternatives that may be of assistance to those in need of something less stimulating to resolve the problem of being on the Internet for a bit too long:

1) Go to the electrical outlet socket and pull the plug out
2) Turn the computer off and give the computer to another person
3) Ask the telecommunications provider to cut the phone line
4) Take the wifi card out of your computer and throw it away
5) For more up-to-date computers, disable the in-built wifi capability
6) Do something else in your spare time
7) Don't talk to shrinks

There now. These alternatives will work by the way.

I've been 'jolted' into literary action

I've been 'jolted' into literary action again by a story that 'shocked' me.

Here we are, blogging, tweeting, googling, facebooking, beboing, whatevering on our computers, and the shrinks come along and spoil all the fun. I wrote about 'internet addiction' on this blog in March last year when Dr Jerald Block, a shrink based in Portland, Oregon said we should recognise that we're clinically disordered if we're involved in "Excessive gaming, viewing online pornography, emailing and text messaging..." Wonder if the doc's trying to tell us something about himself?

Anyway, the Guardian has now reported shock treatment for 'internet addiction' has been banned in China. Now, just a minute, who the hell allowed shock treatment for this load of mumbo-jumbo in the first place? Someone at the ministry of health in China obviously fell for doc Block's waffle.

The idea of shock treatment is bad enough, but when it's administered, at cost, for a load of shrinking hot air, bloggers, tweeters, googlers, facebookers, beboers and whatevers should blog, tweet, and whatever and denounce the killjoys who it seems are making a bunch of cash frying people's brains.

I thought rape and kidnapping were criminal offences

The last time I checked, kidnapping and rape were designated as criminal acts. You'd go to prision for kidnap or rape. Not a psychiatric institution.

But Josef Fritzl, who pleaded guilty to kidnap and rape is going to a psychiatric institution. Why not prison? I spose there will be the psychiatric mumbo jumbo about his mental state, that he is mentally unstable, and all that stuff. But he's a criminal and should be in prison.

Or is it that the psychiatric institution can make a few bucks out of him?

How d'you know that then?

Every now and then, a real beauty comes along that begs to be asked the question: how d'you know that then? High speed brains are in the genes was the story covered in the New Scientist. The story also states, alongside the waffle, that attention deficit disorder is associated with 'degraded myelin.' How d'you know that then?

There's also a pretty picture that goes with the story, a picture that has some cute colours on it, and some numbers on it as well that are supposed to denote what bit of the brain does what. Looks like a page out of a kid's colouring book to me. But hey, who am I to pass comment when we've got 'experts' to tell us.

Please, please, please be mentally ill

Saw this story on http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/ about the private hospital chain, the Priory Group. It was headlined Priory Warns Of 'Recession-Depression' Escalation. Using a nice bit of alliteration, the Group have warned it's going to get really gloomy in these credit crunch times.

I think the story should be reworded: Priory Group desperately hopes people will get mentally ill so the hospitals can fill their beds, and bleed the health policies dry. So despite the doom and gloom, there are innovative ways to beat the credit crunch.

Be depressed today, help the Priory Group fill a bed, and help the Group come through the credit crunch. They're counting on you, and you, and you, and you, and you...

Psychiatric nurse jailed for rape

The Argus covered the story of psychiatric nurse Michael Crossland who was jailed for 15 years after raping two patients.

Good job there's now a statute that covers this kind of degraded and sick behaviour. Many in a similar position to Crossland have got away with it in the past because the patient 'agreed'.

Mr Crossland's now got 15 years to contemplate where it all went wrong.